mockumentary

We should make this mockumentary. It will be a funny documentary mocking "An Inconvenient Truth". It can be abstract, random, humorous and emotional, but in the end, it can still have a good message (if we want to really do something like that). And yes, there will be a slide show.

"You walk down these aisles that were carefully planned out by some Blockbuster executive. You notice the pretty shelves, the cases on these shelves, the colorful shiny cases on these shelves. You hear mommy's yelling at their children; yes, you hear mommy yell. You see yourself walk by the random body sized mirror. In the distance you hear a television, one that is attached to the ceiling used for promotions. You feel the movie cases as you walk by closing your eyes. It's special in here; maybe too special. And out of nowhere you see this movie. This horrible movie called "Junior". Gears angrily shift within you. And after you take that deep breath after seeing a pregnant Schwarzenegger on the cover it all dawns upon you at once like a really bad and messy sneeze with no tissue paper in sight, "These movies, these horrible movies are killing our planet, bringing us closer, literally, to global warming." - professional Al Gore look-a-like

"Does it feel hot in here or is it just me? *Al Gore look-a-like explodes into a belly laugh* *Regains composure after several minutes* It's all of us. All of us are feeling hot. You see, the reason isn't because sun rays are getting trapped inside our planet's atmosphere to run around like loose hoodlum katrina victims, no. That's a legit problem, sure. Crazy katrina victims, thats another problem, but a problem we will get rid of another day. The problem at hand is global warming. The reason is really quite obvious and simple for anyone to understand."

//The "problem" is going to need some sarcasm, randomness, and humor. These vhs movies that nobody likes is weighing down our planet, so much to the point that it is weighing us down directly onto the sun. Yeah, that can't be good.//

"Movies.

No, not just any movies.

OK, bad movies.

Really, really bad movies. Movies like Junior. Movies like Patch Adams, Steel Magnolias, and Driven. Movies with Steven Segal and Paul Walker. If you aren't cringing already, please take this time to cringe. *Crowd bursts into laughter* People! People I am serious about this! Most people don't know this, but the average vhs cassette tape weighs a little under one pound. *Crowd moans* One pound! I didn't know that, did you know that? For every movie that made it onto the big screen from 1978 to 1996, 56,988,293 copies were made for you and me. Another fact that most people don't know: 9 out of 10 movies are really really bad. You do the math. I seem to have lost the number, no wait, its a bazillion. *Crowd sounds really puzzled* How many times have you seen a movie and said in your mind, "wow that movie was really really terrible?" *crowd somewhat agrees* How many times have you slumped into weeks upon weeks of terrible depression after seeing a bad movie? *crowd is confused bigtime* *Al closes eyes momentarily* I know the feeling all too well. Now you know the magnitude of the problem that I will continue to explain. *people start to leave* The problem that affects all of us. *Al sees people leaving* Is it getting hotter in here?"

Al Gore look-a-like with street video team:
Do you have still have a vcr? Yes? You are definitely part of the problem. I don't even want to talk to you. No wait! Don't leave! You are my main target audience. Please, come back..

"You see that pale dot? Haha no, not that dot, who let this lady bug in here?!? haha. *Crowd erupts into laughter* OK people. OK. People. Settle down, settle down dammit!
Everything that has ever happened in all of human history, has happened on that megapixel. *lady bug can be seen on screen still walking around distracting audience* All the triumphs and all the tragedies, all the wars all the famines, all the major advances...all the horrible movies ever created. All these really horrible movies, weighing down our planet, our only home. And that is what is at stake, our ability to live on planet Earth, our ability to fit better movies into our world because the really bad ones take up all their space. I believe this is a moral issue, it is your time to cease these movies, it is our time to get rid of these terrible movies that are weighing down our earth, my home. All these bad movies, all of their combined weight pulling us closer to the sun." - Al Gore look-a-like,

"Most American's don't think about this, but what happens to the movies that nobody buys? Hah yeah, silly question you may think, but what happens to these movies? I don't know why you would do this, but something may incline you to walk into your local unclean Walmart and see movies there that nobody would ever dare buying. Ever walk by and peek into their large square movie bin? You may even walk into a much nicer Target store and see the same thing. I personally like Costco, but as much as I like them, I have to put my foot down before I enter, because they sell movies by the double-pack! So where do they send these movies that nobody wants? I am here today to tell you that there are special holding facilities located randomly throughout this country that house millions, no, did I say millions, I meant billions, billions of these movies! It's VHS people and it is killing us! Why would we even store these movies, each second bring us closer to armageddon. The average movie holding facility has a net weight of 500,000,000 kilotons. Thats like Hiroshima-Nagasaki. We all know what tragically befell these 2 Japanese cities. We know how dangerous something like that can be. So I urge you, to take action."

Al Gore look-a-like with street video team:
"Whats your favorite movie? Ohhh thats worse movie ever made, the worst. You cannot be serious. Ohhhh nooo."

*Thats a small taste of what this mockumentary will be like. Just like "An Inconvenient Truth".

//The solution will be for people to get rid of all their old vhs movies by throwing them away (how this solves the problem is beyond me, because its just re-displacing the "problem") but if Al knows, then its all good. There will be footage of good American people, elderly folk mostly, throwing out their old vhs movies in effort to do their part to save earth.

More fake Al Gore talking, reflections inside a blockbuster retail store, talking with people in the street, showing a presentation at a university, funny Al narrations, talking with bigshots, interviews with washed out film actors who were in these "horrible movies", US gov involvement, more charts and slide shows, and good fun humor.

//One possible ending could be Al just wants people to send these movies to him (he says he has a facility that can properly destroy them and render them harmless to global warming), because he really actually enjoys them. He wants vhs tapes. He is confused by DVD, HD-DVD, and Blueray and the thought of ever having to get used to them literally makes him ill. So his real motive is not global warming, but to get a really large collection of vhs tapes. It was a sad realization for him to realize that the movies he liked were the movies that nobody else liked anymore, so he had to play it this way to get them. Slide show and all to get these tapes. But it also turns out somehow, that yeah, it prevents global warming. Yeah, Al saved us (and maybe created the internet).//